Criminal Defense
Since 1993
Since 1993
Why Do I Love My iPhone & iPad So Much???
Are you busy? I’m busy. We’re all busy. But thank God for my Apple products, both iphone and ipad, which come to court with me every day, every hour. So, I’m thinking to myself, “why do I love this stuff so much?” I found my answer.
Because I’m white.
(…I knew it had to be something genetic, I have no choice but to buy the latest Apple products, but could never–until now–figure out why).
That’s right, I found my answer in Christian Lander’s book “Stuff White People Like”. An excellent book, Lander sums up my Apple addiction quite accurately:
“Plain and simple, white people don’t just like Apple, they love Apple and need it to operate.” Amen brother, tell me more….
“Apple products also come with stickers. Some people put them on their computers, some people put them on windows, but to take this to the pinnacle of whiteness, you need to put the Apple sticker in the rear window of your Prius, Jetta, BMW, Subaru 4WD station wagon, or Audi. You then need to drive to a local coffee shop (Starbucks will do in a pinch) and set up your Apple for the world to see. Thankfully, the Apple logo on the back will light up! So even in a dark place, people can see how unique and creative you (and the five other people next to you doing the exact same thing) truly are!”
Wow, is this guy stalking me? How does he know my every move? He further notes that:
“Knowledge of Apple products can be useful in a number of social situations. If you see a white person with a Mac, an easy way to approach them is to say, “Is that a Powerbook? What OS do you have?” They will happily start talking to you, and after the requisite five minutes you can invite them to a screening of a documentary.”
Hats off to Lander and his excellent book “Stuff White People Like”, this guy is psychic, and I guess I’m the “pinnacle of whiteness” (but you already knew that).